Why do I feel so sad?

I told you I was coming.

You were so excited. At first I was like "huh?" I haven't talked to you in years, why are you so amped? Then I thought about it and I was flattered. I figured, it must really suck up there. We'll be cool. And I guess God is taking care of me and dealing with my meeting people worried ahead of time. But then I get here I have to call you to find out anything thats ever happening. I'm not even an after-thought. I'm a returned phonecall, when I just called to see if you wanted to do anything. Im a " I totally forgot to tell you" "I meant to call you" "I didn't think you'd be interested".

Yeah. I guess I'm not interested anymore.

And if you see this, I don't want to talk about it.

And the rest of you. Its like that huh? I fight and struggle to include everyone in everything and NOT ONE OF YOU thought of me. Not one.

Why am I surprised?

Starting over. I need to stop being so freaking unsuspecting and open.