IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU

LORD, I HATE DRAMA.

Stupid me went to go and do good samaritan and people started disrespecting a negro for no reason. Abi gini?

So its [ivy leagues excuse for crazy homecoming type event when football team sucks] and everyone is out and about.

We are all acting a fool when we run into this girl I know. Warm body spots her and decides he is in love. No biggie. Life is great.

Except SHE ISN'T FEELING HIM. End of story. Still no big deal right?

Nooooooo, your girl Tori, savior of the universe decides to help a sista out. So my girl B calls me aside to say she thinks Warm body is nice and all, but she is feeling my sweetheart, my honey bunches of oats, the one and only chivalrous male at [school].

YAAAAAY. My baby is about to get some play! (Not that I'm saying he doesn't get play, o. But he isn't a man-whore like the rest of them)

SCREEEEECH. Brakes. Warm body won't leave her side. So I decide to play good samaritan and I tell my sweetheart what the deal is, so he can move in, but apparently, its against the Man Code. His friend got there first and so he cannot holla till his friend, of his own volition, leaves the babe alone.

Ah well. Except STOOOPID Jamaica ( im tired of wasting endearments jo, lets call him jamaica) tells Mr. Nigeria wassup, and Mr. Nigeria decides to tell warm body to back off. Mr. Nigeria SOBER isn't the most tactful SOB in the world ( I love him anyway) but he's been drinking. I have no clue how he told ol boy, but warm body backs off, but gets all salty. Rejection is a bitch, what can I say.

Except he fucking goes to talk to his boy, the other Goo.nie and next thing I know the idiot is not speaking to me.

WTF?

No be you the girl reject ooo, na you boy, that is why when I'm addressing you and asking you if you can help me find my phone, you COMPLETELY IGNORE me when we are the only people in the room?

Its all good. Na me cause am. Because I dey follow you shine teeth like say na my teeth dey cause sunlight and sunset, that be why you think say you fit dey do me anyhow.

I'm not even mad at warmbody self for whatever he said. Hell, if na me self, I go think say the girl I'm messing with dey block. I would be sorely dissapointed sha, because he clearly doesn't understand the nature of our relationship. I am purely objectifying him. I don't like to sleep alone, so you are just a warm animate object beside me. I DON'T WANT YOU LIKE THAT. Just in case youre reading this, when she asked me about you I PUT IN A FUCKING GOOD WORD. *rollseyes*

Me sef, I suppose leave all this one behind. What is that new T.I. song that isnt even out that he performed at the concert today? "Big shit poppin, l'il shit stoppin". My brain don fry.

I Messed Up

and lost a friend.

And I can't even front and act like it wasn't my fault. I knew it was a bad decision anyway, but I went ahead and eternally eliminated a source of laughter from my life. First time I met him, We hung out for the ENTIRE day, he was that much fun. Me, him and his lunatic buddy. It was a blast. We talked about absolutely everything. Hell, I even tried to sell him John Mayer ( I don't think he bought it, but that's okay...tomorrow is another day...well, the point of this blog is that there is no tomorrow, so bleh). And then I went and blew it.

Now things are all weird. He has been totally mature about the entire thing, but things are awkward. Before, with all my boys (I like to call all the guys here that I'm cool with "my boys"...its sorta fun to be the buddy/mother figure chick for cooks for you, laughs at your antics, gives you woman advice, yet parties with you...don't tell them I call them that sha.. It might not go down too well.) it was a crime not to give me a real hug when you see me, and if you mess around and not say hello properly, I will yell at you for it. Now I'm not sure if its allowed. We do the Stranger "hey wassup" and I'm scared to do my usual "na fight? Will you get over here and hug me PROPERLY" or fall into a bear hug lest it be misinterpreted. He is scared to do his usual messing with me on sight and go "ah ah, you're looking nice today, o, which man are you hunting" or "damn, your hair looks a little weird, you no try" (which used to irk me and win him a punch) lest it be misinterpreted.

It sucks. I even miss being mad at him for being tactless.

Nothing is worth losing camaraderie.

I finally cut off Mr. Nigeria for not having an excuse for us losing our buddyness. I don't even talk to Femi Kuti nearly as much as I used to, but i could care less. I am upset, on the other hand about Mr. Nigeria who used to call me to call me. We used to study together, fight all the time and just sit around and talk. He would talk to me about all kinds of things, who he slept with last night, who he really likes, his worries about school, everything, then suddenly....nothing.

I tried to call him to do lunch, dinner, study, anything, but he was always busy. At a point, I just called him and cussed him out , but still nothing. I finally gave up when he was there with me Friday night when I was drunk stupid and he didn't call the next day to see if I was okay.

Like hell, a good friend would have at least made sure I didn't end up in some strangers bed, but I didn't even get a call the NEXT DAY. Someone else who I don't even chill with like that called and I guess it hit me when he called and I didn't hear from Mr. Nigeria.

I decided I was beating a dead horse and I let it go. I saw him at the fashion show on Saturday, and I treated him how I treated everyone else. He came over to hug me (I guess I trained my boys right. *sigh*) and I told him I was mad he didn't call (in my usual jokey way). He mumbled something, but I let it go. I was done. He was a great memory from last semester.

He called me today to see how I was. Why do men not understand that it doesn't count if I had to tell you to do it? And why did you call today when there was no reason to be concerned about me? The point of the call Friday was CONCERN because I was being a damn fool.

*sigh*

I hate losing friends.

On Competing

Everything is good. Went to that interview and I guess it went well. I should hear something by thursday. Did most of the other work I had to do, but I truly lost interest and turned in less than half-baked work. S'all good tho. I'll be fine.

Was in the city for the weekend. Fun times. Hung out with a former friend for the first time in a few years and all the negatives came right back out. I had to constantly remind myself "it's not a competition. "it's not a competition" which is evidence of how little I have grown since then. It's all good sha. I had a blast, lost my voice and slept like the dead in the car ride back to school.

In other news, I am seriously considering my body pillow. Jason has a magnificent one. I'm going to need to ask him where he got it.

Speaking of Jason, I realized last night that I am way more hurt about losing friends than I am about losing, well, you know. I honestly miss Mr. Nigeria. We were cooool. I miss him a LOT more than I miss Femi Kuti. Femi was a great lunch/dinner buddy and he was great for the occasional whinge fest (lol) but I loved how Mr. Nigeria and I talked about all kinds of stuff. I loved how he'd call me when he was scared or worried about something important, or how he'd find my ear to say dumb shit about random hot girls. I called him thursday to be like "damn, I thought we were cool" but I got a "let me call you later, no daytime minutes". Later isn't here yet.

*sigh*

This week should be sufficiently hellish that I don't have time to eat or cook or think again. *tips 40 to memory of newfound bootyliciousness*