Thursday, March 22, 2007


Its been a shitty week. More on that later.

In other news, I met Robin Thicke yesterday.

And no, "Robin Thicke" is not a pseudonym for some random new crush/friend. He kissed me on the cheek and asked a bouncer to take a picture of us.

Maybe more on the shitty week now. I'm horribly sad. I'm in Miami, Florida with a couple friends who insist on complaining about their weight ever 30 seconds (by the way, they are both absolutely gorgeous, even if they don't look anorexic) and calling me "barbie" and gasping "she's so skinny!!!" at every thin girl girl that goes by like its a good thing.

My sister said it best. "You can't be smart, beautiful and confident all at the same time."

By the way, I got here on friday. I still don't have my luggage. I'm tired of borrowed shit, and target underwear and grasy skin and going clubbing in clothes I wouldn't be caught dead in outside my apartment and girls who just cannot see how uncomfortable I am.

I'm not asking that we not go to South Beach, and I'm not mad that people keep cat-calling at you because you look fabulous. Heck, if it were me, I'd revel in it too. Sometimes, its that ego-boost you need. What I do not like is the "Tori, that was all you" when we all know I look like shit, and he practically said your name when he was trying to get your attention. Or when the 8th guy has asked for your number at the end of the night, you say on the ride home "Tori, you were on FIRE tonight, girl" when we all know I looked like shit, and no one looked at me (with good reason, and I honestly could care less if they did, but I'd rather not have to deal with the false modesty).

Ah, well, I met Robin Thicke, and he was a sweetheart. Back to the boonies next Tuesday.

Someone please pray this gets better.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

So My Laptop Died.

Fan gave up the ghost two days ago and I had to send it back to Dell to be fixed. you's think I'd be totally depressed and crying in a corner of my room laying in the foetal position (yes, playing with my laptop is better than sex) , but guess what? I'm HAPPY.

Spring break starts friday, the weather was BEAUTIFUL yesterday.

Okay the school lunatic is sitting in front of me acting a fool. I just lost my blog-jo. *smh*

I'm off to class.

Monday, March 12, 2007

I succumbed

and sent him an email.

He didn't respond.

Why am I not surprised?

I think its hilarious how, in a year, I'm not going to have any idea who this is considering that I don't have a name for this particular "him".

This is me tippping my 40 to his memory and wishing him all the best. He was an amazing friend, and I made many great memories. I just need a new "random-boy-question" friend.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

I Messed Up

and lost a friend.

And I can't even front and act like it wasn't my fault. I knew it was a bad decision anyway, but I went ahead and eternally eliminated a source of laughter from my life. First time I met him, We hung out for the ENTIRE day, he was that much fun. Me, him and his lunatic buddy. It was a blast. We talked about absolutely everything. Hell, I even tried to sell him John Mayer ( I don't think he bought it, but that's okay...tomorrow is another day...well, the point of this blog is that there is no tomorrow, so bleh). And then I went and blew it.

Now things are all weird. He has been totally mature about the entire thing, but things are awkward. Before, with all my boys (I like to call all the guys here that I'm cool with "my boys"...its sorta fun to be the buddy/mother figure chick for cooks for you, laughs at your antics, gives you woman advice, yet parties with you...don't tell them I call them that sha.. It might not go down too well.) it was a crime not to give me a real hug when you see me, and if you mess around and not say hello properly, I will yell at you for it. Now I'm not sure if its allowed. We do the Stranger "hey wassup" and I'm scared to do my usual "na fight? Will you get over here and hug me PROPERLY" or fall into a bear hug lest it be misinterpreted. He is scared to do his usual messing with me on sight and go "ah ah, you're looking nice today, o, which man are you hunting" or "damn, your hair looks a little weird, you no try" (which used to irk me and win him a punch) lest it be misinterpreted.

It sucks. I even miss being mad at him for being tactless.

Nothing is worth losing camaraderie.

I finally cut off Mr. Nigeria for not having an excuse for us losing our buddyness. I don't even talk to Femi Kuti nearly as much as I used to, but i could care less. I am upset, on the other hand about Mr. Nigeria who used to call me to call me. We used to study together, fight all the time and just sit around and talk. He would talk to me about all kinds of things, who he slept with last night, who he really likes, his worries about school, everything, then suddenly....nothing.

I tried to call him to do lunch, dinner, study, anything, but he was always busy. At a point, I just called him and cussed him out , but still nothing. I finally gave up when he was there with me Friday night when I was drunk stupid and he didn't call the next day to see if I was okay.

Like hell, a good friend would have at least made sure I didn't end up in some strangers bed, but I didn't even get a call the NEXT DAY. Someone else who I don't even chill with like that called and I guess it hit me when he called and I didn't hear from Mr. Nigeria.

I decided I was beating a dead horse and I let it go. I saw him at the fashion show on Saturday, and I treated him how I treated everyone else. He came over to hug me (I guess I trained my boys right. *sigh*) and I told him I was mad he didn't call (in my usual jokey way). He mumbled something, but I let it go. I was done. He was a great memory from last semester.

He called me today to see how I was. Why do men not understand that it doesn't count if I had to tell you to do it? And why did you call today when there was no reason to be concerned about me? The point of the call Friday was CONCERN because I was being a damn fool.


I hate losing friends.

Friday, March 09, 2007

I Sorta Miss

my gay vampire.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

I fucking hate it

when I'm fucking FINALLY getting over you then you fucking call. Why do you do this? I've gone through all the 4 stages of grief over you and I'm finally moving on with my life and doing my work again and I'm able to concentrate and you don't inhabit my every thought, then you call.

Why are you calling me?

YOU cut me off. You stopped returning calls. YOU acted like you never knew me and finally I'm accepting your grad assholery and not caring then you call and I re-cycle.

How do you know when I am getting over you? its like as soon as I spend a day not thinking about you, a becaon goes off somewhere in your head and and you destroy all my progress. if you walk away, stay away. Please.
For the sake of my sanity. I don't have the time to psychoanalyze everything you said or did with everyone all over again and try to make sense of it. I can't handle it. Please walk away. Clean breaks are sooo much healthier for us all.

*on behalf of a friend. She just got the call and I totally understand whats happening in her head and I can't help but sympathize. I've been through it too many times. *

Monday, March 05, 2007

The Freakin' Tony Rich Project

does insane things to my emotions. Actually, I think its just biology.

*smh* I'm hormonal again, but more on that later.

Huge spring break plans. I'm scared its going to be your classic vacation with friends and everyone is going to be mad by the time we get back. lol. And its hella long too. Leaving here Friday and I'm not getting back till midnight Tuesday, but I found out today AFTER I paid for my flight that I have a major prelim (actually, quite possibly the only exam for the entire class) on Wednesday, and another on Thursday. Of course, common sense prevails, and I try to change my plane ticket, but tickets are now $1,200. $1,200!!!! When I'm not flying to Nigeria? Madness. I'm so glad I bought mine last night, because I promise you, I paid less than a fifth of that! What if I waited one more day?

Well, for one thing, I would not be failing my prelim on Wednesday. And please don't tell me to study now in advance. It seems like the obvious solution, but of course I am quadruple booked with work and projects till spring break.

The weekend was a lot of fun. I have a pretty big project due Thursday, so since I obviously didn't feel like doing my work, I helped out at the Ghanaian banquet. It was a lot of fun even though I missed the entire banquet, and came inside only to dance at the end. Everyone was there.
Well, not everyone. Most people. The recent girls were both out of town and WB and his lunatic friend weren't there either. Femi Kuti gave me a ride home and I teased him about the Ambassadors daughter. I was completely exhausted afterward, but I really really wanted a drink. I need to start keeping alcohol at home. The boys were going out but I didn't feel like hanging out with them (not like they invited me anyway, but I would have shamelessly invited myself) I just wanted to sit at a quiet bar alone with a Georgia Peach in my hand and stare off into space. You know those kind of bars where there is loud music playing, but you can actually sit at the bar without being shoved aside by a drunk person ordering 14 shots and the bar isn't dripping wet? Yeah, that's what I call a quiet bar.

The day before at the talk by the Ghanaian Deputy ambassador, I suddenly had to fight back tears. And I mean fight. I have NO IDEA what was wrong. I just really wanted to bawl. Hilarity. I think I'm hormonal.

In other random ass news, I think I've been blocked on Messenger. *rolleyes*. So much for complication avoidance. Its my fault anyway. I knew I was making a stupid decision. Now I've lost the right to flirt shamelessly and have everyone understand it was meaningless. As always with me, it is quite possible that I'm imagining things, but we'll see.